Tuesday, August 28, 2012

“The Trial of Miles; Miles of Trials.”

Like all obsessively compulsive people I have a love for repetition, even when it has always ended badly.
With that being said, I will give you some more literature to contemplate on:

"And not one of them was prepared, truly prepared to believe that it had not so much to do with chemicals and zippy mental tricks as with that most unprofound and sometimes heart-rendering process of removing, molecule by molecule, the very tough rubber that comprised the bottoms of his training shoes. The Trial of Miles; Miles of Trials. How could they be expected to understand that?"

Running is a lonely sport.
The above quote comes from another one of my favorite books Once a Runner, by John L. Parker Jr. 
If you enjoy running, life, sports, or just love beautiful writing you should check it out. 
Also for those of you who just adore your running friends, but are too lazy to experience it yourself, might just understand them a little better after the quick reading of that book. 

Back to the topic: By giving this post the name "The Trial of Miles; Miles of Trials." it fully explains how I feel about life in the most simplistic of ways.  

As I get older and have to run more, damn you Gordon Sanders and your 70 mile weeks, I get a lot of time to think about life in its entirety. 

When you are on the roads for almost 9 hours a week you have time to really think, mostly about food or how much you hate running. However, every so often you start feeling philosophical, or crazy you decide, and you begin an internal dialogue with yourself or you do what I do and just talk out loud while running solo and look like a retard. 

From my own personal log
One of the discussion I have back and forth with myself is, "What am I doing with my life?"

Come on man, if both Bush Senior and Bush Jr can get into office, surely Zombies can be real.
 Every since the 1st grade teachers have been asking me, "Vance what do you wanna be when you grow up?"
Coming from a kid who couldn't even spell his favorite color in kindergarten yellow or one of his two middle names Benjamin I didn't think much of it because there were a lot of things I didn't know, like that sniffing glue and eating paper was bad for you, and I just figured with time and education I would know the answer. 

However, after being asked that question in elementary school, middle school, high school and now college I begin to worry as to what exactly I want out of life. 

As I was asked those questions I always felt the need to try and find some type of answer to make the teacher/professor/parents happy. However, the best answer I could ever think of giving someone comes from who else other than the Great John Lennon.

"When I was 5 years old, my mom told me that happiness was the key to life.
When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I
wrote down “happy”. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment. I told
them they didn’t understand life.” – John Lennon

After reading this quote for the first time, it just resonated with me. That was the purest answer I could ever give someone. 
However, like the clinically insane over thinker that I am, I asked myself, "What makes me happy?" 

Maybe at least one person will understand this picture.
 At first like every other greedy, capitalist, self obsessed, egotistical, arrogant American the one thing in life I thought that would make me happy was none other than MONEY. 

I mean who doesn't love money?  

I mean look at celebrities, they look pretty happy........................unless you're Kurt Cobain, Heath Ledger or Tony Scott..............................alright so it looks like money truly can't buy happiness.  

After I soon realized that money was basically useless to me, I had to find a new key to happiness. 

Living in American, where money is king (even over sex) I had to find a career that could sustain me fiscally and psychologically.  

Whenever my "father" asked what I wanted to be when I grew up and I told him, "I don't know" he responded, "Well what ever it is, I hope it makes a lot of money."

Yet everyday I see rich people who look like this: 

Working useless job

But look at all this green paper I own!
Mostly true

To me, working in an office surrounded by papers just to get some cash that I can't spend because I am only home from 6 pm- 6 am, doesn't equal happiness. 

As I have hit the ripe age of 20 years old, there are only three occupations that I still remotely believe I want to pursue.

Not for any kind of monetary compensations but as a child who has grown up with no health insurance and as a science nerd I have always loved the human body and blood has always fascinated me. Plus from all of the good willed people who have helped me medically I feel that it is a need for me to give back. 
------------------------- Yes, I still want to be a doctor. Even with this "dreadful" ObamaCare, which any one who calls it dreadful is basically a retard (Sorry Romney/Ryan and all you Repys out there, we still love you) 

.............I'll never be as cool as Dr. T (Mr. T) or Dr. House..........

I love movies and this is basically just a way for me to make movies I wanna watch and also the only thing people laugh at more than when you say, "I'm going to be a doctor" is when you say, "I'm gunna makes movies" or if you're in Martin, "I'm gunna make one of them movie pictures shows.".

Best director known to man, sorry Nolan you aren't that good yet. 

 Lastly, and possibly my favorite choice...........................

A hobo: 
Being a hobo would be awesome to me. I don't care about money, appearances, people and I love the outdoors. Being a hobo to me would basically be like a professional hiker. 
My favorite books all include basically the same thing, giving up possessions and just being happy.
Such books that you could read and understand would be, Walk Across America by Peter Jenkins, Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer, and Walden, By Henry David Thoreau. 

Who cares if this dude died of eating a random toxic plant, he looks pretty happy to me.

I only had about 30 minutes to write this, so basically this is the most cut and dry/simplistic abridged version of how I feel about life. Maybe I will write something more concrete later. Probably not. 

 P.S. When I become a hobo I will have a hobo cat too, ya know because you see to many hobos with dogs..................gotta stay original. 

Fedora and all

"But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep."
Robert Frost


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